Why Disabled People Often Can’t Be “Spontaneous” — And Why That’s Not a Personal Failing
There is a certain kind of freedom many people take for granted without ever realizing it. It is the freedom to say yes quickly. The freedom to leave the house without thinking through ten different variables first. The freedom to accept a same-day invitation. The freedom to go somewhere unfamiliar and trust that it will probably work out. The freedom to change plans halfway through the day without worrying that one small shift will throw everything off. For many disabled people, that kind of spontaneity is not simple. In some cases, it is not possible at all. And yet disabled people are often judged for it. People may say things like, “You always need so much notice,” “Why can’t you just come?” “You think too much,” or “It’s not that complicated.” Sometimes the judgment is not even spoken directly. Sometimes it shows up as impatience, disappointment, exclusion, or the quiet decision to stop inviting someone altogether. What often gets missed is this: needing time, planni...
